EYN#059: How To Give and Receive Feedback

Being able to give and receive feedback are two of the most important skills as a leader in tech.

Receiving feedback helps you get better, develop and grow as a human.  And yet people struggle to receive it.

Giving feedback helps others get better, develop and grow as humans.  It's one of the kindest things you can do, and yet people struggle to do it well.

In the last Tech World Human Skills podcast, Nicola Slater from Unily gave 3 great models to use.  Check out the episode for all the details, but here's the overview:

Receiving Feedback - ACT

ACT is a great little framework. 

• Accept: Don't get defensive.  Don't push back.  Listen to and internalise the feedback.  Accept it.
• Consider:  Think about the feedback.  Move past the emotional response and consider it rationally and logically.   You may want to take action based on the feedback.  You may not.  But you need to think about it rather than react in the moment based solely on your emotions.
• Thank: Feedback helps you learn and grow.  Even if you decide not to act on the feedback, you don't want to be the person that doesn't listen, or can't be coached.  Thank the giver for taking the time to give you feedback.

A brilliant way to think about receiving feedback.

Giving Feedback - The Accountability Dial

Don't procrastinate and store up your feedback until an end of year review, or until you explode with rage.  Nip it in the bud early and build the strength of feedback if it continues.

Start lightly and exercise curiosity early on.  For example if Jane is constantly on her phone in a meeting say:

"Hi Jane, is everything all OK?  I noticed you were on your phone a lot during the meeting.  Is something going on?"

There might be a great reason and everything is resolved.  But if she persists, the second time might be a slightly bigger deal.  The third time might be that it gets a meeting of its own to discuss.

Exercise curiosity, engage early and increase the strength of feedback if nothing changes.

Giving Feedback - COIN

Here is a great way to structure your thoughts when giving feedback: COIN

• Context:  The situation and setting from where the observations occurred.  Set the context.
• Observation:  Specifically what was the behaviour that you observed.  This needs to be specific and tangible.  "You did this in meeting X".  Not generic and high level.
• Impact:  What was the impact.  If there was no impact, it was just they did something differently then maybe it doesn't matter.  If it does matter, what was the impact?  Explain this as clearly as possible.
• Next Steps:  What should they do differently next time?  What do they need to do differently in the future?

Boom.  Three frameworks to help you give and receive feedback.

I've covered those at 100 miles an hour.  If you want more depth, war stories and detailed discussion of each framework then check out the podcast.  Details below.

I hope this helps.

Ben